Everyone gets pigeonholed. It's something you just can't avoid, no matter how hard you try. You can do your best to pick out your 'favorite' spot and try to fit it, but why bother? Someone is always going to look at you in a positive light, and someone else will look at you negatively for the *exact* same reason.
Here are some popular prejudices that I've run into (some of these don't apply to me, but that's why they're good to see - EVERYONE gets looked down on for similar things, just usually in different ways):
- "WOW, you are just TOO SKINNY. Are you anorexic? Do you EVER eat? You should eat. Seriously, there is NO WAY you are healthy."
- "Oh my god, do you eat anything but horrible foods? You shouldn't be wearing shorts. You're DISGUSTING. Please go have a salad and/or starve yourself."
- "God, you're too pretty. You must be an airhead/not know anything about X/be a bitch."
- "Haha, 'depression?' Yeah. That's just an excuse for you to sit on the couch all day and do nothing."
- "Hahahahhaa. Loser. God, seriously, GAMING/Ren Faires/whatever?"
- "Ugh. Such a hippy. Go take a shower/stop sucking down unemployment pay."
- "You like *guns?* God, what is WRONG with you?"
Admittedly, these are very general, and you rarely run into someone who actually says any of that out loud - but if you're vulnerable to a stereotype, you know exactly what people mean when they say something sly and hint at it.. whether they're conscious of it or not.
Everyone has prejudices - and as Avenue Q says, "everyone's a little bit racist." Sometimes, without even realizing it, you reveal a prejudice you didn't know you had. We all inadvertently hurt people around us from time to time, but it's your own personal responsibility to try to limit how negatively you treat the people around you. It can be really difficult, but it's possible.
The best way to combat it is to have rock solid self-confidence, but a lot of people find that really difficult. I've been working on building my self-confidence over the past several years, and the most helpful things for me have been knowing that my friends support me and believe in me, and finding things that make me feel pretty and happy - no matter what other people think.
With that in mind, I bought my first pair of shorts (in a *very* long time) the other day. They were on super sale, and my mental process went something like this: "Hmm. Shorts. How do I feel about shorts? At least they're not 3" seam shorts, those I'd never pull off. But these? .... maybe. OOH, sold. At the very least I can wear them under dresses when we move and I can use them to carry concealed in."
That's right - my buying shorts was primarily influenced by being able to carry a gun while I prance around in my favorite dresses. My husband must be rubbing off on me. Luckily for me, My hips are something like 10" different than my waist, so pretty much all pants come built in with carry room for me. The shorts aren't scandalous - they have a 9 1/2" inseam, so with my super tall frame they come about halfway down my thighs. I still feel ridiculously exposed in them, but hopefully I'll get used to them with practice.
All in all, I knew I had made the right choice when I was complimented by *two* acquaintances the first day I wore them out. It may have been my skull dress (I *always* get told I'm cute when I'm in that thing) - but for once I wasn't wearing leggings or stockings with it. Instead, I just had the shorts underneath. It felt awkward, but good.
Every day is a chance to influence hundreds of people, positively or negatively. The next time you find yourself thinking harsh thoughts, take a moment to see where it's coming from. Is it justified, or are you just reacting off of some base instinct that (if said out loud) would hurt some feelings? You're never going to be able to get rid of those prejudices completely, but understanding the motivation behind them helps everyone to become a better influence and a better person.
What would *you* change about your own prejudices? It's tough to be honest, but if you are, the world can run a little bit smoother every day.
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